There are many reasons to have therapy but in my article today I will just highlight 10 benefits of psychotherapy for you and why it will help you heal from your Toxic Parents.
Very often, we are resistant to exploring the past and having therapy.
Maybe you had bad experiences in therapy where you felt you have been misunderstood, misdiagnosed, or blamed for your symptoms.
You “are not broken; you are hurt and in need of empathy and compassion”.
Therapy with a good trauma-informed therapist can provide that for you
You may think that the past is the past and it’s best left there. Or maybe your past is too painful to revisit and you would find this completely overwhelming.
Or you feel that you have had a privileged childhood and don’t have any issues worth exploring.
Self-exploration using a variety of techniques, including therapy, with a supportive, non-judgemental therapist gets to the heart of your issues and what is really affecting you.
Whatever the reason, this article will provide ten benefits of psychotherapy, and reasons why exploring your past and your root issues will benefit you:
1. Help you understand why you are you
Most of our issues are rooted in our past childhood experiences. We may have had problems more recently, but our childhood has shaped how we see ourselves and other people which in turn affects how we react to current problems. “Until you have named your demon, your shortcoming, your sickness, it will continue to have power over you”.
2. Reach the point of understanding not blame
Very often, we blame ourselves with so much disdain and self-loathing because of some of our habits or behaviours or because we are not where we want to be in our lives. If we understand fully where we have come from, we will understand how we have got here. We will then be able to let go of some of that blame and replace it with more compassion and higher self-esteem.
3. Understand your values and beliefs
We don’t often realise that we take on the values and beliefs of our families and culture. If we don’t question or challenge it, it can affect us for the rest of our lives.
Just ask yourself this
- Do you know what your values and beliefs are?
- Do you know where your values and beliefs come from?
- Are you clear about what your values and beliefs are?
- Do you know if your beliefs and values are harming you?
- Do you know you can change them?
- As a child we have no option but to adopt the values and beliefs of our families. As adult, we have the choice to change them
4. To give yourself a voice
Sometimes, due to one thing or another, we were not listened to as a child. This may have caused a lot of things to build up inside of us like an overinflated balloon, ready to pop.
This can often show itself in the form of having a quick temper, being very impatient, having dark mood swings for no clear reason, having a low tolerance to stress, etc. Or just feeling that no one gives a damn so there’s no point in talking. So, you share nothing with anyone, you keep everything to yourself and you are totally overwhelmed.
You can share this with me.
5. On the surface you had a great childhood and can’t understand why you have issues
If you did not experience overt sexual abuse or physical abuse. If on the surface your parents seemed kind and loving it may be difficult to understand how your past could have affected you. By exploring this with me you will find answers. Given time to explore, we will work this out you after a clear understanding of why you have your issues
6. You may have problems with relationships or finding someone that is right for you
The Attachment Theory was developed by someone called John Bowlby. He believed that babies and young children must have their needs responded to consistently, sensitively, and appropriately. If we don’t have our needs met by our parents, this will affect how we relate to other people.
The Reach Approach looks at something called the 3 A’s attention affirmation affection. It believes that if you lack any of the 3A’s during childhood, you will try and spend the rest of your life trying to get it back even if what you’re doing is negative and not always good for you.
It will be worth looking at your very early years. For example, what was happening to your parents when you were born, did they have any mental health issues, were they struggling? Any sort of stress your parents were under, may have affected their ability to parent you as well as they could.
You can’t change your past. This will help you to have a new understanding of yourself and to move forward by giving yourself what you need. not just what you were taught to give yourself.
7. You don’t love yourself and you don’t understand why
By learning about the good things about yourself, understanding how you have survived a lot of a lot and that you as a child have a lot to cope with, you will then learn to love yourself more. you have a newfound appreciation of yourself that you are a survivor.
8. You have had help before but it has not worked
You have attended all the anger management courses, relapse prevention for your addiction, AA, and anxiety management but they have not helped or it may have helped that problem but now you are getting another problem.
This could be several reasons. For example, I find that when, for example, people come for help with addiction, it is not about the addiction, but it could be anxiety, unexpressed anger, etc. It is a bit like trying to sort out dampness in your house. You could fix the symptoms of dampness but before long the symptoms will come back. If you get to the root of where the problem starts, that will resolve it and prevent it from happening again.
9. You want to forgive your past but can’t
In most circumstances, you can’t forgive because there is a lot of stuff that’s not recognised and understood so it can’t be healed. Bury still has a lot of hidden pain there that needs venting and the outcome would be forgiveness. forgiveness is the event after a long process of healing, not the other way around. True forgiveness and healing of all your hurt and pain need to be done.
10. Time has not healed your wounds
You try to carry on, but it is becoming harder and harder. you know you still carry wounds from your childhood trauma you carry on as best as you can, but life experiences are just adding to that.
When you heal some of your childhood trauma, this will help you to cope better with your current problems and life challenges.
If you wish to talk further about this type of therapy with me, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I offer a free 15-minute, no-obligation session over the phone, email, or Zoom.
What to do next
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