It will help you to understand these 15 symptoms of narcissistic mothers if you struggle with your toxic mother.
You may experience these symptoms largely be due to your upbringing and the dynamics of your current relationship with your mother. It’s important to note that not all daughters of narcissistic mothers will exhibit the same symptoms, and individual experiences may vary.
However, here are 12 symptoms that daughters of narcissistic mothers may often experience:
1. Low self-esteem
As a daughter of narcissistic mother, you may struggle with low self-esteem due to the constant criticism, belittlement, and lack of validation you receive from your mother.
You may have developed a strong need for perfection to gain approval and avoid criticism from their narcissistic mothers. This can lead to feelings of anxiety and an intense fear of failure.
3. People-pleasing behavior
As a daughter of a narcissistic mother, you can become skilled at anticipating and meeting your mother’s needs, even at the expense of your own well-being. You may end up struggling with setting boundaries and have difficulty saying no to other people.
4. Lack of identity and self-assertiveness
Growing up in an environment where your own needs and desires were not valued, you may struggle to develop a strong sense of self and have difficulty asserting themselves in relationships. This could be with intimate relationships, in your employment or friendship groups.
5. Emotional difficulties
You may experience difficulty regulating your emotions, including feelings of sadness, anger, and anxiety. Your emotional responses can be influenced by the unpredictable and invalidating nature of their interactions with their mothers.
For example, for many daughters of narcissistic mothers, you may struggle being angry, showing your disapproval or even defending yourself as this was completely disapproved as a child.
6. Fear of abandonment
As a daughter of a narcissistic mother, you may develop a fear of abandonment, as you would have experienced love and attention, but this love and affection would have been conditional. This fear can affect your relationships and make it challenging for them to trust others.
7. Intense guilt and self-blame
You may internalize your mothers’ criticisms and believe that you are fundamentally flawed or responsible for your mothers’ negative behaviors. This can lead to persistent feelings of guilt and self-blame.
8. Difficulty with intimacy
You may struggle with forming and maintaining healthy, intimate relationships. The lack of emotional support and the constant need for validation from your mothers can make it challenging for you to trust and be vulnerable with others.
9. Chronic self-doubt
As a daughter of a narcissistic mother, you may doubt your own ability, judgment, and decisions due to the constant undermining and gaslighting you may have experienced. This can hinder your personal and professional growth.
10. Hypersensitivity to criticism
You could find that you are highly sensitive to criticism and have a strong emotional reaction when you perceive yourselves as being judged or criticized. This sensitivity can be a result of the constant scrutiny and negative feedback you received from their narcissistic mothers.
You never feel satisfied about yourself, no matter what you have achieved. You may even base your self-worth on your accomplishments and how busy you are. As a high achiever you have become a human doing rather than a human being.
12. Lack of Self-Care
You may feel chronically exhausted that you can’t slow down even if you are beginning to have health problems. Slowing down to take time out to take care of yourself is alien to you and you feel guilty doing it.
Here you could have taken your anger out on yourself by sabotaging your own efforts. Here you could find yourself giving up, numbing your pain with various addictions, feeling stuck in self-destructive lifestyles, underachievement.
14. Feeling responsible for others’ emotions
As a daughter of narcissistic mother, you may develop a strong sense of responsibility for others’ emotions and well-being. You may feel guilty or anxious if you believe you have caused someone else’s unhappiness.
15. Avoidance of conflict
You could have developed an aversion to conflict, often avoiding or minimizing disagreements to maintain peace and avoid the emotional turmoil you experienced in your relationship with your mother.
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