Understanding your Feelings and Emotions using 3 Great Strategies

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Simple Strategies to assist you with understanding your feelings and emotions.

I have here three tools to help you to learn with understanding your feelings and emotions. You can use these strategies in your day to day life and will also help you communicate better, ask for what you need, know what you need, etc;

You would find it beneficial to use these tools with any of the strategies I have listed on another blog, to help you cope with or manage your emotions

Remember also that doing this takes time, practice, and consistency. Give yourself time to learn these strategies for them to really work for you.

Feelings Scale 1 - 10 | Understanding your Feelings

Feelings Scale 1 – 10

Use the Feelings Scale to gauge how you are feeling right now.

This could be used to work out how anxious you are, and how angry or depressed you might be feeling. This could also be used if you have an addiction and you experience cravings.

The reason why this is useful is, that if you could work out how you are feeling and how strong your feelings are, you and others could learn how to respond to what is going on more appropriately.

It is just a simple scale from one to 10

You would choose “1” if you are feeling happy, and content with no anxieties or worries.

You would choose “10” if you are at your worse and you need desperate help NOW!.

You could be feeling anywhere between 1 to 10.

Which one are you today?

Which one would you like to be?

When you were feeling a lower number, what things happened, or did you do to help you to feel that lower number?

What things do you need to avoid to prevent you from going as high as “9” and “10”?

Another way to use is to use it to prevent yourself from getting worse. Rather than wait until you are a 9 to try some coping skills. If you are finding that your number is increasing to a 5 or 6, or lower if you can, try something then.

You can also use this to work out which situations, events, or times of year make you a higher number. You could either avoid it or try and plan something to help you cope with it better.

Stop Light Technique | Understanding your Feelings

Stop Light Technique

Or you can use the Stop Light Technique

Green for when you are happy, everything is ok, no issues

Amber – When you are starting to notice that you are struggling, feeling stressed and anxious. You may even start to crave drugs or alcohol

Red  – You would be really struggling at this point. This could be the worst you ever feel. You might be planning on self-harming, having suicidal thoughts or using ilicit substances

Why are these useful?

When you are experiencing anxiety, stress, or whatever difficult emotion, it can be difficult to articulate what you are feeling. 

This helps you to be clear to others

You can use this as a warning that your emotions are building up. Rather than waiting until things become uncontrollable when you are a Red at the traffic light or an 8, 9, or 10 on the scale. If you could feel your emotions building up when you are a 3 or a 4. You could maybe decide what distraction techniques can help.

Waiting till things are uncontrollable would be a lot harder to manage on your own

You could also predict situations that are high risk for you to find strategies to help.

This helps to check in with yourself about how you are feeling. You can use this in your journal and keep records of what triggered you into feeling that “number” whether it is good and bad. You will soon have a clear idea of what works for you and what doesn’t.

Feelings Chart for Adults

The Feelings Chart

  • The Feelings Chart is an amazing tool that displays all of your feelings, both positive and negative ones. As human beings, we experience the full spectrum of feelings, not just the positive ones. I have explained more about it here
  • To use the Feelings Chart, first identify the issue that you are dealing with by choosing one of the six feelings from the main headings: Mad Sad Scared also Powerful, Happy and Calm.
  • Next, drill down to the feeling(s) associated with your issue lined with that word.
  • For example, if you are feeling mad, drilling down further to accurately describe your feelings, you could be feeling Frustrated or Hurt.
  • The next step is to find the converse feelings, the feelings directly opposite of the feeling you originally identified. Still sticking with mad, the word opposite is Powerful. Look through the list under powerful to identify what you feel that you need or is missing from your life.
  • These are the feelings that you really want to experience in the moment.

What to do next

Hope you could see yourselves using these tools. Which one do you think you would prefer to use? Also, feel free to follow me on Instagram where I share daily content like this. I also welcome any feedback on what you would find useful to learn about and what will help you.

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Do you have a Toxic, Emotionally Immature, Narcissist, Co-dependent, or Parent with an Addiction? Have you struggled with their behavior for most of your life? Maybe your Childhood wasn’t the best but you want to make sense of why it still affects you now.

You may find yourself struggling in so many ways.

I am an experienced and qualified Online-Therapist based in the United Kingdom helping you on your road to healing from your Toxic Parents. 

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